One-to-One Conversation
“…that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.” – Romans 1:12 (NRSV)
Have you ever had the pleasure (or pain) of the good ol’ fashion, feet-to-pavement, door-to-door visit on behalf of your church? Have you ever knocked on a door unannounced to tell the resident about your congregation’s ministry? How did it go? If your experience was like so many others, you probably finished feeling dejected. These visits, where one goes from door to door around the neighborhood surrounding the congregational building, often fail to meet their desired goal. I believe this happens because the desired goal is an incorrect one. Let us not beat around the bush, these knocking campaigns had one goal; more people in the pews. It was strictly about numbers, not relationships.
So, when we suggest a one-to-one conversation, most people have flashbacks, saying that wonderful church phrase, “But we already tried that once! It didn’t work!” But what I am suggesting is something so simple that in many corners of the church we have completely forgotten how to do it. Create a real and authentic relationship with people, and here is the important part, with no agenda other than wanting to get to know THEM specifically.
In college, I participated in a national youth ministry that was very successful. One of things that happened with every youth participant at camps or other retreats was what they called the “one-on-one.” Having spent time with these youth for months, we would sit down during retreat to check-in and see how they were doing. Our only agenda was making sure that they felt like they were cared for and that their voice was heard. Nothing else.
If our goal is to increase numbers, we will always fail. But when we enter into a relationship with those around us, one where they can safely and honestly let themselves be known, the numbers won’t be a problem.
Reflection by Pastor Tim Crummitt
Sample Questions for a One-to-One Conversation
- What sort of community do you dream of being a part of?
- Teach me about your neighborhood.
- Name two issues that you think are facing your community.
- Name two strengths that you see in your community.
- What are you passionate about? What activities make your heart sing?
- What has been your experience of church been like?
- If a church wanted to do something meaningful in this community, what would it look like?
Questions for Reflection:
- Have you, or your congregation, ever been a part of these door-to-door campaigns? Were they successful? Why or why not?
- Think about why you first visited the congregations that you have been a part of, why did you go there specifically?
- Most new members are usually friends with a current member who invited them to attend. Has this proven to be true in your experience too?
- What sort of relationship do you have with the community around congregational building? What do you think they would say about you?